Insecure Attachment

Unfortunately, as many as 30% of children develop insecure attachment relationships with their parents. Toby and Hugo are two of them, they are both 18 months old and they were classified as the insecurely attached babies. Attachment theory research tells us that infants will likely experience one of three types of insecure attachment if they do not get responsive, nurturing, consistent care in the early weeks and months of their lives. The first type of insecure attachment is called Resistant/Ambivalent Attachment. The characteristic of this attachment is that babies will show exaggerated expressions of attachment needs.They are reluctant to explore new environment and preoccupied with getting the attention of their parents. When parents depart, babies become extremely distressed. When the parents return, they have difficulty settling down and do not respond well to their parent's soothing. This occurs when parents are inconsistent – sometimes answering infant’s needs quickly and responsively, and sometimes just ignore them or respond them slowly. This may also occur if parents respond only to the physical needs, i. e. feeding, changing, etc. , but ignore the infant's need for human interaction and connection.The second type of insecure attachment is called Avoidant Attachment. The characteristic of this attachment is that babies seem not to care whether their parent is present or absent. When their parent is present, babies will explore their environment without interest in their parent's whereabouts. Also, when their parent departs, they are minimally distressed. At reunion, they do not move toward their parents or show their pleasure to see the parents again. In fact, they often ignore or avoid their parents. This occurs when parents are unresponsive to baby’s needs – both physical and emotional.This is called neglect, and happens often in families where there is alcoholism and/or drug addiction, or in families who do not underst and what their babies need. The third type of insecure attachment is called Disorganized/Disoriented Attachment. The characteristic of this attachment is that they are lack of organized pattern to their behaviors, when they stressed, in the presence of their parents, these babies appear disorganized or disoriented, displaying unusual behaviors such as trance-like freezing, or strange postures. These behaviors are as evidence of fear or confusion with respect to their parents.This occurs when there is domestic violence in the family, or abuse of the babies. It is also involving reorganization of the family such as family moves or the birth of another baby may also temporarily disorganize their attachment patterns. Nowadays most of parents in Hong Kong, they are working parents (both father and mother) and they are working outside of the home and their working hours is quite long. So they can only spend a little time with their babies and they usually rely on their relative and domest ic helper to take care of their baby.The followings are some thoughts to help parents to build a secure attachment with their babies:- 1. Babies are quite smart and sensitive in their very early stage, therefore parents keep expressing and sharing their pleasure when every moment they are together with their baby will help the baby to internalize a sense of security and a feeling of being loved and appreciated. This is very important for those working parents as they can only spend limited time daily to their baby, so every moment with their baby is treasure and they shouldn’t waste it and should be happy with them.2. Secure attachment research tells that a secure attachment is built upon sensitive and responsive caregiving, therefore parents are able to observe and pay attention to their baby’s subtle cues (a smile or a voice) for attention, exploration and comfort can help their baby to feel being respected and understood. Being responsive to baby’s needs actu ally promotes a greater sense of self-confidence, self-reliance, and independence as baby grows into childhood. 3. Create a consistent routines during daily care will help baby to feel secure, as baby can predict what will be happen.For example: baby will be taking bath after finished their dinner everyday. Since they can predict that when they will go to take shower, therefore they will not be scared to this once they get used to this routine. Also for working parents, if they can keep the consistent time for leaving home for work and come back home for dinner everyday. It may also help to ease their baby’s separation anxiety. 4. Provide baby a freedom to explore new environment will help them to develop a sense of competence and efficacy.While allow freedom to them, parents still need to stay close with their baby and offer encouragement and reassurance when needed. Since baby may not have confidence when they are just starting to explore new things and they will need to ch eck with you for reassurance, security and encouragement. Therefore parents give baby encouragement and support will help to develop the secure attachment to them. 5. For those working parents, their relatives and/or domestic helper will usually become the prime caregiver to take care of their baby. Parents may worry that this may impact their relationship with their baby.Therefore developing a positive, collaborative relationship with their baby’s caregiver is necessary, parent may also need to let their baby’s caregiver to know that the concept of secure attachment and baby’s social emotional development that they apply to their baby, and ask them to follow it. This will ensure that their baby will receive a consistent care and there is a continual communication around your baby’s changing needs. It will also help your baby feel supported by a loving, caring community of adults Lastly, I believe that if parents are happy, baby will be happy too.If paren ts have a bad emotion, it will only affect their baby’s emotional development badly. Therefore, beside to provide a good care for the baby, it is also important for parents to find time to rest and relax for a brief moment, so that they can recharge their body both physically and mentally, and maintain a good mood to ensure that they are able to take care of baby properly. Feeling secure doesn’t come from doing everything right; it comes from knowing that when you experience difficult feelings or challenges, you have the self-confidence and the support you need to forge ahead.Insecure Attachment Unfortunately, as many as 30% of children develop insecure attachment relationships with their parents. Toby and Hugo are two of them, they are both 18 months old and they were classified as the insecurely attached babies. Attachment theory research tells us that infants will likely experience one of three types of insecure attachment if they do not get responsive, nurturing, c onsistent care in the early weeks and months of their lives. The first type of insecure attachment is called Resistant/Ambivalent attachment.The characteristic of this attachment is that babies will show exaggerated expressions of attachment needs. They are reluctant to explore new environment and preoccupied with getting the attention of their parents. When parents depart, babies become extremely distressed. When the parents return, they have difficulty settling down and do not respond well to their parent's soothing. This occurs when parents are inconsistent – sometimes answering infants' needs quickly and responsively, and sometimes just ignore them or respond them slowly.This may also occur if parents respond only to the physical needs, i. e. feeding, changing, etc, but ignore the infant's need for human interaction and connection. Parents with the above behavior, their babies learn that the world and their ability to have an impact on it is basically inconsistent  œ sometimes things happen, sometimes they don't – sometimes all their needs are met, and sometimes only some of them are. Infants learn that others are not dependable or consistent. They often also do not learn or understand emotions – their own or others.The second type of insecure attachment is called Avoidant Attachment. The characteristic of this attachment is that babies seem not to care whether their parent is present or absent. When their parent is present, babies will explore their environment without interest in their parent's whereabouts. Also, when their parent departs, they are minimally distressed. At reunion, they do not move toward their parents or show their pleasure to see their parents again. In fact, they often ignore or avoid their parents. This occurs when parents are unresponsive to babies needs – both physical and emotional.This is called neglect, and happens often in families where there is alcoholism and/or drug addiction, or in families who do not understand what their babies need. This happened in eastern European countries with babies in orphanages. These infants were kept contained in their cribs for the majority of each day, being taken out only to be fed or changed, and even those tasks were performed with little or no engagement with the infant. In this environment, babies learn that they have no ability to impact their world, or to engage others.The world is indeed a cold and scary place in which no one really cares. In worst case scenarios these infants may become developmentally delayed, passive, may develop full-blown reactive attachment disorder. Human beings can actually die from lack of human contact, characterized by the worst-case scenario of avoidant insecure attachment. Avoidant attachment has been associated with a pattern of care in which the caregiver does not provide adequate comfort when the infant is emotionally upset, ill, or hurt.The third type of insecure attachment is called Disorganized /disoriented attachment. This group of babies does not fit into the previous two categories. The characteristic of this attachment is that they are lack of organized pattern to their behaviors, when they stressed, in the presence of their parents, these babies appear disorganized or disoriented, displaying unusual behaviors such as trance-like freezing, or strange postures. These behaviors are as evidence of fear or confusion with respect to their parents.This occurs when there is domestic violence in the family, or abuse of the babies. It is also involving reorganization of the family such as family moves or the birth of another baby may also temporarily disorganize their attachment patterns. The human brain is hard-wired to seek comfort from primary caregivers when hurt or afraid, and another part of the brain is hardwired to run or fight (fight-flight) when danger is perceived. For infants with a caregiver who hurts them, or who creates chaos in their environment, a dual response is set up in the infants' brain.This response looks like ‘I am hurt – I need comfort from you – you are the one who hurts me so I can't go to you'. The infant has no way to make sense of this. This type of attachment is called disorganized, and is often characterized by a disassociative response, wherein infants have NO response, and in fact, are emotionally absent. Nowadays most of parents in Hong Kong, they are working parents (both father and mother) and both parents are working outside of the home and their working hours is quite long.So they can only spend a little time with their babies and they usually rely on their relative and domestic helper to take care of their baby. Therefore, the role of caregiver is being changed. The followings are some thoughts to help parents to build a secure attachment with their babies:- 6. Babies are quite smart and sensitive in their very early stage, therefore parents keep expressing and sharing their pleasure when every moment they are together with their baby will help the baby to internalize a sense of security and a feeling of being loved and appreciated.This is very important for those working parents as they can only spend limited time daily to their baby, so every moment with their baby is treasure and don’t waste it and be happy with them. 7. Secure attachment research tells that a secure attachment is built upon sensitive and responsive caregiving, therefore parents are able to observe and pay attention to their baby’s subtle cues (a smile or a voice) for attention, exploration and comfort can help their baby to feel being respected and understood. Being responsive to baby’s needs actually promotesa greater sense of self-confidence, self-reliance, and independence as baby grows into childhood. 8. Create a consistent routines during daily care will help baby to feel secure, as baby can predict what will be happen. For example: baby will be taking bath after finished thei r dinner everyday. Since baby get used to this routines and they can predict that they will go to take shower, therefore they will not be scared that. Also for working parents, if they can keep the consistence time for leaving home for work and come back home for dinner.It may also help to ease some of their separation anxiety. 9. Provide baby a freedom to explore new environment will help them to develop a sense of competence and efficacy. While allow freedom to them, parents still need to stay close with them and offer encouragement and reassurance when needed. Since baby may not have confidence when they are just starting to explore new things and they will need check with you for reassurance, security and encouragement. Therefore parents give baby encouragement and support will help to develop the secure attachment to them. 10.Choose a childcare provider who values relationships. This should be someone who understands the importance of your baby’s social and emotional dev elopment. The reality for many families is that either one or both parents are working outside of the home. In these situations, parents often need to place their baby in the care of a relative or childcare provider. Parents may worry that this may impact their relationship with their baby. Find a childcare provider who works to promote secure attachments with the children in her care and supports your infant’s social and emotional development.This can provide valuable support to you and your family when you return to work. If you already have a provider, you may want to talk with him or her about how infant attachment and social-emotional development is supported within the childcare program. In addition, developing a positive, collaborative relationship with your baby’s childcare provider will ensure that there is continual communication around your baby’s changing needs. It will also help your baby feel supported by a loving, caring community of adults. 11. I believe that if parents are happy, baby will be happy too.If parents have a bad emotion, it will only affect their baby’s emotion badly. Therefore, beside to provide a good care for the baby, it is also important for parents to find time to rest and relax for a brief moment, so that they can recharge their body and maintain a good mood to ensure that they are able to take care of baby properly. Feeling secure doesn’t come from doing everything right; it comes from knowing that when you experience difficult feelings or challenges, you have the self-confidence and the support you need to forge ahead.Disorganized/disoriented attachment There is a group of infants (15-20%) who do not fit into Ainsworth’s original three-category scheme. Mary Main, another influential attachment researcher, added a fourth category to include these infants. Whereas infants in the 3 primary attachment groups have organized strategies for dealing with arousal, infants with disorganized attachment relationships either lack an organized pattern to their behavior or have strategies that repeatedly break down.When stressed, in the presence of their caregiver, these infants appear disorganized or disoriented, displaying unusual behaviors such as approaching the caregiver with their head averted, trance-like freezing, or strange postures. These behaviors have been interpreted as evidence of fear or confusion with respect to the caregiver. Disorganized attachment is considered an extreme form of insecure attachment. Many infants who fall into the disorganized category have experienced some form of maltreatment or have a caregiver who has been traumatized by severe loss or abuse.Other stressful situations involving reorganization of the family such as family moves or the birth of another child may also temporarily disorganize attachment patterns in an infant-caregiver relationship. Whether infants have secure attachment or one of the types of insecure attachment, is pivot al to their growth and functioning in the world. It impacts whether they can form meaningful, connected relationships with other people, and affects how they see the world and their place in it, as they grow.Unfortunately, as many as 30% of children develop insecure attachment relationships with their parents. Insecure attachment may take the form of avoidant, distant behavior or anxious clinging behavior. When children have insecure attachments with their parents, any number of negative consequences can follow, such as depression, anxiety, a lowered ability to cope with stress, and poor relationships with others. A disruption in the development of secure attachment could occur due to parental illness, parental unavailability because of other life commitments, or the serious illness of the child.Children who move from foster home to foster home or spend the early years of their lives in orphanages can experience long-term attachment difficulties. In addition, children sometimes have inborn temperaments or disabilities that can impede the attachment process. Finally, children who are abused or neglected or otherwise traumatized will often show signs of impaired attachment. Avoidant attachment O these infants are reluctant to explore their environment and preoccupied with getting the attention of their caregiver.When a caregiver departs, infants with resistant attachment become extremely distressed. When the caregiver returns, they both seek and resist contact. When they do seek contact they have difficulty settling down and do not respond well to their caregiver's attempts at soothing. Resistant attachment has been associated with a pattern of care in which the caregiver inconsistently responds to his or her infant's signals of distress. Disorganized/disoriented attachment There is a group of infants (15-20%) who do not fit into Ainsworth's original three-category scheme.Mary Main, another influential attachment researcher, added a fourth category to include th ese infants. Whereas infants in the 3 primary attachment groups have organized strategies for dealing with arousal, infants with disorganized attachment relationships either lack an organized pattern to their behavior or have strategies that repeatedly break down. When stressed, in the presence of their caregiver, these infants appear disorganized or disoriented, displaying unusual behaviors such as approaching the caregiver with their head averted, trance-like freezing, or strange postures.These behaviors have been interpreted as evidence of fear or confusion with respect to the caregiver. Disorganized attachment is considered an extreme form of insecure attachment. Many infants who fall into the disorganized category have experienced some form of maltreatment or have a caregiver who has been traumatized by severe loss or abuse. Other stressful situations involving reorganization of the family such as family moves or the birth of another child may also temporarily disorganize attac hment patterns in an infant-caregiver relationship.The meaning of attachment behaviors An infant's attachment pattern is strategically determined and based on his or her understanding of the caregiver's reliability as a source of comfort and security. From the earliest stages of development an infant is learning about the caregiver's reliability as a secure base. Caregivers of infant's with secureattachment are consistently sensitive, receptive and accepting of their infant's signals of distress. Thus, infants in secure attachment relationships learn that they can be confident in their protection.Their behavior in the Strange Situation reflects this confidence as they freely explore their environment, openly express their needs and accept comfort from their caregivers. Infants with insecure attachment in contrast are not confident about the caregiver as a secure base. This insecurity dramatically impacts an infant's behavior and quality of emotional expression. Consider the apparent independence and precociousness of an infant in an avoidant attachment relationship.Such an infant seems not to care whether a caregiver is present or absent and is likely to snub the caregiver upon reunion. But in fact for every infant personal security is instinctively of critical importance. Infants with avoidant attachment patterns have repeatedly felt rejected by primary caregivers during times of illness, injury or distress. As a result these infants learn that they cannot count on the caregiver to meet their attachment needs. To avoid further rejection, the infant in an avoidant attachment relationship limits his or her emotional expressions.Seen in this context, the apparent indifference of the infant's involved in an avoidant attachment relationship begins to make sense as an effective strategy for maintaining contact with a caregiver who is unable to provide comfort but does provide other kinds of care and protection. Caregivers of infants with resistant attachment have r esponded inconsistently to their infant's attachment needs. The best strategy for infants of inconsistent parents is to devote a lot of energy to soliciting help.This explains these infant's prolonged and exaggerated expressions of their needs and preoccupation with attracting their caregiver's attention during the Strange Situation paradigm. The organized strategies of infant's with avoidant and resistant attachment illustrate the infant's adaptive response to perceived threats to security. When confidence in protection wavers, behavior and emotional expression change in an attempt to secure contact with caregivers. The unusual behavior of the infant with disorganized attachment is more difficult to understand even when considered from the infant's perspective.Many infant's with disorganized attachment patterns have been subjected to highly stressful, chaotic, and frightening environments. As an example, disorganized attachment sometimes occurs following extreme loss or trauma on t he part of a caregiver. Researchers speculate that caregivers who are unable to recover from tragic losses, for example the death of their own parent, or abuse by a parent, subtly communicate a sense of anxiety, fearfulness, and/or hostility toward their infant. This situation is highly disorganizing to the infant because the person who is supposed to be a source of comfort is also a source of threat or fear.Faced with this impossible situation, the infant's attempts at an organized strategy breaks down. In general, an infant's sense of security can be thought of as being on a continuum. With a strong sense of security, an infant feels free to explore and venture out into the world. If confidence in protection falters, the infant's world begins to contract as the freedom to explore is overshadowed by a sense of doubt and apprehension. An infant's basic pattern of attachment develops during the first year of life.Although thought to be relatively resistant to change, changes in life circumstances can alter attachment patterns as infants develop and mature. In Part III of our series, we will look at attachment throughout the life span. Attachment in older children, teens, and adults will be discussed along with the implications of attachment patterns for emotional and social development. Benoit D. Attachment and parent-infant relationships†¦ a review of attachment theory and research. Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies Journal. 2000;44(1):13-23. Goldberg S. Attachment and Development.Hillsdale, NJ: The Analytic Press; 2000. Goldberg S, Muir R, Kerr J, eds. Attachment Theory. Hillsdale, NJ: The Analytic Press; 1995. Karen R. Becoming Attached. New York: Warner Books; 1994. The Infant Mental Health Promotion Project and the Department of Psychiatry, The Hospital for Sick Children. A Simple Gift: Comforting Your Baby. Toronto: The Hospital for Sick Children; 1998. Used by permission. You and your baby have within you the building blocks for develo ping a healthy, secure attachment. That doesn't mean you will know how do to everything instinctively.That's especially true if you had some challenges in your early attachment relationships. That can â€Å"color† how you interact with your own baby. Here are some tips to help you build a secure attachment with your baby: Enjoy and take pleasure in your relationship with your baby. All babies are born with the capacity and desire to experience joy with their caregivers. So expressing and sharing in the delight of the relationship you share with your infant helps your baby to internalize a sense of security and a feeling of being loved and appreciated.Follow your baby's lead. A secure attachment is built upon sensitive and responsive caregiving. Observe and pay attention to your baby's subtle cues for attention, exploration, and comfort. This helps your baby to feel understood and valued. Provide consistency and predictability in your care routines. Routines will help your bab y to feel secure. Predictable support and nurturance helps your baby internalize a feeling of being cared for. This allows a secure attachment to develop. Don't worry about â€Å"spoiling† your baby.There is no such thing as spoiling an infant, despite what you may hear from well-meaning friends and relatives! Being responsive to your baby's needs actually promotes a greater sense of self-confidence, self-reliance, and independence as your baby grows into childhood. Use nonverbal communication to bond with your baby. Babies are not able to understand or use verbal communication. Nonverbal communication can help you to feel connected to your baby and strengthen your attachment relationship. Make eye contact, touch, smile, and move rhythmically such as by rocking orswaying. These are all effective ways of conveying love, warmth, and acceptance to your baby. Your baby may not comprehend your words right away. But he does recognize and respond to your tone of voice, even when you are not talking to him. If you are stressed, angry, or frustrated, your baby will often respond by becoming distressed. Talking in a gentle, soothing voice, even if the words are not yet understood, can help your baby to feel reassured, loved, and secure. Provide a holding environment for your baby. For your baby, touch is as important as sleep or food.Holding your baby provides a sense of warmth, love, and reassurance. Holding your baby when she's distressed helps her to organize her feelings and to feel calm and safe. Even if your baby continues to fuss, remember that your calm, gentle, physical presence conveys a sense of connection and safety. Take care of yourself. To provide optimal care for your children, you must also attend to your own needs. Are you nurturing and respecting yourself? Although incredibly rewarding, parenting can also be exhausting and demanding.Finding time to sleep, eat, and even relax for a brief moment is extremely important. Use the support around you – your friends, family, community – so that you may find ways to replenish yourself. By taking care of your own needs, you are helping to ensure that you are able to take care of your baby's needs. Choose a childcare provider who values relationships. This should be someone who understands the importance of your baby's social and emotional development. The reality for many families is that either one or both parents are working outside of the home.In these situations, parents often need to place their baby in the care of a relative or childcare provider. Parents may worry that this may impact their relationship with their baby. Find a childcare provider who works to promote secure attachments with the children in her care and supports your infant's social and emotional development. This can provide valuable support to you and your family when you return to work. If you already have a provider, you may want to talk with him or her about how infant attachment and social- emotional developmentis supported within the childcare program. In addition, developing a positive, collaborative relationship with your baby's childcare provider will ensure that there is continual communication around your baby's changing needs. It will also help your baby feel supported by a loving, caring community of adults. Provide your toddler with freedom and space to safely explore new environments. Do this while staying close and offering reassurance when needed. Your young toddler will benefit from your support when he is able and ready to explore his world.Remember that during this time, your toddler will need to â€Å"check in† often with you for reassurance, security, and encouragement. The secure attachment that was developed during infancy will provide your toddler with a sense of competence and efficacy and an assurance that his caregivers will give him love and support when this is needed. Remember that you do not need to be a perfect parent. Many days, pare nting may seem like a series of blunders, mistakes, and missteps. The good news is that you don't need to strive for perfection in parenting.And although it may not always seem this way, your mistakes can be seen as â€Å"gifts. † They enable you to learn about yourself and your children. Mistakes help your children to learn that we all stumble, get back up, and keep trying. Feeling secure doesn't come from doing everything right; it comes from knowing that when you experience difficult feelings or challenges, you have the self-confidence and the support you need to forge ahead. Links & Resources  » References: Bowlby, John (1956) â€Å"The growth of independence in the young child.†Royal Society of Health Journal, 76, 587-591. Bowlby, John (1988) A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. London: Routledge. Lieberman, Alicia (1993) The Emotional Life of the Toddler. New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc. Unfortunately, as many as 30% of childr en develop insecure attachment relationships with their parents. Toby and Hugo are two of them, they are both 18months old and they were classified as the insecurely attached babies. Children with insecure attachment may take the form of avoidant, distant behavior or anxious clinging behavior.When children have insecure attachments with their parents, any number of negative consequences can follow, such as depression, anxiety, a lowered ability to cope with stress, and poor relationships with others. A disruption in the development of secure attachment could occur due to parental illness, parental unavailability because of other life commitments, or the serious illness of the child. Children who move from foster home to foster home or spend the early years of their lives in orphanages can experience long-term attachment difficulties.In addition, children sometimes have inborn temperaments or disabilities that can impede the attachment process. Finally, children who are abused or neg lected or otherwise traumatized will often show signs of impaired attachment. The first type of insecure attachment is called Avoidant attachment About 20-25% of infants demonstrate avoidant attachment patterns with their caregiver. Children in avoidant attachment relationships seem not to care whether a caregiver is present or absent.In the presence of the caregiver, avoidant children will explore their environment without interest in the caregiver's whereabouts. Upon departure infantsw with avoidant attachment are minimally distressed. At reunion, they do not move toward the caregiver or try to initiate contact. In fact, they often ignore or avoid the caregiver. Despite this apparent lack of concern, infants with avoidant attachment patterns show as much, if not more, physiological arousal than other infants, suggesting that they have learned to contain their distress.Avoidant attachment has been associated with a pattern of care in which the caregiver does not provide adequate co mfort when the infant is emotionally upset, ill, or hurt. The second type of insecure attachment is called Resistant/ambivalent attachment About 10-15% of infants demonstrate resistant attachment patterns with their caregiver. Resistant attachment relationships are characterized by exaggerated expressions of attachment needs. In the presence of their caregiver these infants are reluctant to explore their environment and preoccupied with getting the attention of their caregiver.When a caregiver departs, infants with resistant attachment become extremely distressed. When the caregiver returns, they both seek and resist contact. When they do seek contact they have difficulty settling down and do not respond well to their caregiver's attempts at soothing. Resistant attachment has been associated with a pattern of care in which the caregiver inconsistently responds to his or her infant's signals of distress. Nowadays most of parents in Hong Kong, they are working parents (both father and mother) and their working hours is quite long.So they are usually rely on their relative and domestic helper to take care of their baby. Therefore, the role of caregiver is being changed. The followings are some thoughts to help parents to build a secure attachment with their babies:- Babies are quite smart and sensitive in their very early stage, therefore parents keep expressing and sharing in the delight of the relationship that they share with their infant helps their baby to internalize a sense of security and a feeling of being loved and appreciatedSecure attachment research tells that a secure attachment is built upon sensitive and responsive caregiving, therefore parents observe and pay attention to their baby's subtle cues (a smile or a voice) for attention, exploration and comfort can help their baby to feel being respected and understood. Being responsive to baby's needs actually promotes a greater sense of self-confidence, self-reliance, and independence as baby grows i nto childhood. Create a consistent routines during daily care will help baby to feel secure, as baby can predictable what will be happen.For example: baby will be taking bath after finished their dinner everyday. Since baby get used to this routines and they can predict that they will go to take shower, therefore they will not be scared that. Use nonverbal communication to bond with your baby. Babies are not able to understand or use verbal communication. Nonverbal communication can help you to feel connected to your baby and strengthen your attachment relationship. Make eye contact, touch, smile, and move rhythmically such as by rocking or swaying.These are all effective ways of conveying love, warmth, and acceptance to your baby. Your baby may not comprehend your words right away. But he does recognize and respond to your tone of voice, even when you are not talking to him. If you are stressed, angry, or frustrated, your baby will often respond by becoming distressed. Talking in a gentle, soothing voice, even if the words are not yet understood, can help your baby to feel reassured, loved, and secure. Take care of yourself. To provide optimal care for your children, you must also attend to your own needs.Are you nurturing and respecting yourself? Although incredibly rewarding, parenting can also be exhausting and demanding. Finding time to sleep, eat, and even relax for a brief moment is extremely important. Use the support around you – your friends, family, community – so that you may find ways to replenish yourself. By taking care of your own needs, you are helping to ensure that you are able to take care of your baby's needs. Choose a childcare provider who values relationships. This should be someone who understands the importance of your baby's social and emotional development.The reality for many families is that either one or both parents are working outside of the home. In these situations, parents often need to place their baby in the care of a relative or childcare provider. Parents may worry that this may impact their relationship with their baby. Find a childcare provider who works to promote secure attachments with the children in her care and supports your infant's social and emotional development. This can provide valuable support to you and your family when you return to work.If you already have a provider, you may want to talk with him or her about how infant attachment and social-emotional development is supported within the childcare program. In addition, developing a positive, collaborative relationship with your baby's childcare provider will ensure that there is continual communication around your baby's changing needs. It will also help your baby feel supported by a loving, caring community of adults. Provide baby a freedom to explore new environment will help them to develop a sense of competence and efficacy.While doing this but parents still need to stay close with them and offer encouragement an d reassurance when needed. Since baby may not have confidence when they are just starting to explore new things, and they will need check with you for reassurance, security and encouragement. Therefore parents give baby love and support will help to develop the secure attachment. Feeling secure doesn't come from doing everything right; it comes from knowing that when you experience difficult feelings or challenges, you have the self-confidence and the support you need to forge ahead.While only the most poorly nurtured infants actually may develop attachment disorder (those who have lived in extremely neglectful environments), many others may still have attachment issues. Looking at baby, touching, singing, talking about what we are doing, etc is very important for infants' emotional development. Without this, babies do not ‘feel felt', an expression coined by Dan Siegel in his book ‘Parenting From the Inside Out'. It can become very difficult for these babies to develop the qualities of compassion and empathy.